I have varicoceles, a low sperm count reluctant to get in a relationship with this problem?

My question is i have trouble ejaculating during sex…been single 18mths but was a problem with ex girlfriend intermittently.I have had semen checked and basically was told I have a low sperm count and may have trouble getting someone pregnant.I have varicoceles in both testes which im guessing doesnt help.
My gp gave me prescription for a testosterone injection which lasted a few months and did increase my sex drive
I am able to ejaculate through masturbation (once or twice a week) with little difficulty with the assistance of porn..lol
I think part of the problem is mental..fear of not ejaculating
Been with plenty of partners since being single but this problem doesn’t help
Id love to father a child but maybe am reluctant to get in a relationship with this problem
I know I could go to a fertility clinic but it is difficult and embarrassing to talk about,I know there is an operation for varicocels which may help but sounds painful
I don’t have trouble getting girls but am a bit fussy,and time is running out to be a dad..Any advice much appreciated
I also read about “death grip syndrome” masturbation which could be a factor in my problem?
I’m a 43yr old single male..87kg 179cm