52-year-old male. No known physical problems. Smoker. Recovering alcoholic. Currently take 50 mg Vyvanse and 1.5 of Klonopin. Have been diagnosed with general anxiety, OCD, ADD,and depression. Varying degrees of social anxiety. Prone to isolating. I cannot take any type of antidepressant at all without severe agitation; hence, Vyvanse is prescribed for ADD as well as last ditch “antidepressant.”
My question: Every time I sleep, day or night, I have strange dreams I can’t put a finger on. I’m often very sad anxious and in some type of bad situation. THEN then real problem. I awake in absolute terror. I am pretty much completely dysfunctional for at least half an hour to two hours. The Vyvanse generally relieves it when it kicks in. It’s as if my mind falls apart when off it. I never wake up happy to face the day, excited, etc., but instead face this each and every morning. If I nap in the day, I will awake with the same reaction AGAIN and, even though Vyvanse is still active, or should be, it’s as if it wore off. This lessens if I sleep longer but I’m prone to very much less than normal hours of sleep. I may even sleep less the more exhausted I am. I suspect some of it’s psychological, a lot on my conscious from my alcoholic days, plus I have never been single this long and it is not by choice. Nevertheless, this is nothing like waking up in a bad mood. It’s a full-throttle sensory attack accompanied my self-attacking thoughts and feelings, as if I’m being destroyed, losing my mind. Once it passes, aside from fearing the recurrence on the worst days, I am “normal” except for my usual anxiety, mostly social. Can you tell me some possible causes and solutions?